CHAPTER 7 (From Apocalypse)
"Sorry, can't come in."
Fuck. A banshee. I hate fucking banshees.
She stood in the way of the door.
I sighe. "I have a key, see?" I produced the key. "And I have to talk with Lord Tir Na Nog. It's important. I was sent by Lord Hamunaptra."
The Banshee eyed me.
I tried to remember her name.
Banshee... Shit...
And then it clicked.
"Come on, Solar." I said.
She raised her orange eyebrows and thought about it.
Banshees. Gross.
They look like pretty women, but they're off. I mean, their skin is a sort of decaying greyish blue color, and their eyes are solid. No whites, no pupils, just irises. And they're red. Their hair is always orange. They wear white dresses. I hate Banshees.
She finally nodded.
"Very well, you may pass." I stepped forward and placed my key in the lock and turned it.
She placed a hand on my hip and moved in close against me from behind.
Her hand toyed around to my front, playing just below my bellybutton.
"Of course, if you are lying to me..." She whispered in my ear. "I will eat your innards and play with your corpse..."
"Understood..." I said, nervously.
God. Tir Na Nog actually liked Banshees.
Thought they were entertaining.
Tir Na Nog is not one of my favorite peoples.
If you know what I mean.
I sighed and entered Tir Na Nog's.
Now, the first thing you have to understand about Tir Na Nog's place, is that it's completely surreal. It's manifested magic. The entire thing.
So it's real easy to get lost and screwed over.
It's best to stay in one spot until he gets interested and comes to talk to you.
So that's what I did.
I stood in the center of the room, on a little red throwrug. As soon as you enter, the door disappears and the walls seem to melt away, leaving you standing in a dark abyss of mirrors, throw rugs, and staircases that lead nowhere.
I stood there, sort of shivering. It was cold.
I could hear children giggling in the distance.
Damned leprichauns.
Finally, there was a little noise behind me and I turned to see Buttercup perched upon the top of an old fashioned Victorian mirror.
She was about three, with a little green dress and blonde curls hanging to her shoulders in little pink bows. Her eyes were wide and blue. She clutched in her little childrens' hands a worn out stuffed teddy bear.
"You're looking well today, Madam Apocalypse."
"Thank you, Buttercup." I said.
Her smile always seemed slightly evil. Wicked.
All leprichauns did. It was because they were bitter.
"What brings you to the Land of the Shamrock tonight?" She asked. "At such a late late hour of the night? You must be sleepy."
She threw a handful of sand at me.
I managed to block most of it, but some of it got into my eyes, and I started feeling the immediate effects of her little Leprichaun magic. My eyes felt sleepy and I fell to my knees out of exhaustion.
"Cut it out, Buttercup..." I whispered. "I'm just here to see Lord Tir Na Nog."
She giggled, and was gone from her little perch on top of the mirror.
"But don't you want to play with me?" She whispered, behind me now.
I struggled to stay alert, but it seemed as though she were in a million different places at once. Who knows. With leprichauns, she might've been.
"Please, Lord Hamunaptra sent me to see Tir Na Nog."
"What do you say...?" She asked.
"Please, Buttercup..."
"Please, mother may I?" She corrected.
"Oh fuck you, I'm not playing this game."
She giggled and was in a million different places at once.
I sighed.
"Fine fine." I cleared my throat. "Please, mother, may I see Tir Na Nog?"
She giggled. "Show me your key." She said.
I produced Ragnarok's key to Tir Na Nog's.
"Ah ah ahhh..." She was suddenly in the mirror in front of me. "I didn't say Simon Says..."
Then the mirror shattered and she stumbled out of it, clutching her teddy bear and coughing.
"You've played with her enough, Buttercup."
She looked up. "Yes master."
After giving me a look that could kill, she disappeared.
I felt Tir Na Nog's presence.
I stayed on my knees.
I had met Tir Na Nog before. He was very propper, very very dominant. He would be looking for an opportunity to start a conflict.
I stayed on my knees.
Where he wanted me.
I kept my head bowed and soon I saw his shoes.
He was standing right in front of me.
He wore nice white and black dress shoes. Very shiney. He then wore a green velvet tuxedo with a frilly white undershirt.
I risked a glance to confirm what he was wearing, and then continued to stare at his shoes.
I knew what he looked like.
Tir Na Nog was pale, with nicely arranged freckles and bright carrot orange hair that hung softly to his cheekbones. He had green eyes and nice lips with slightly curled ears.
He was actually quite normal looking. But very very bizaare underneith it all.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of a demon?" He asked. "A lady demon, at that? Or, should I say, THE lady demon, at that?"
"I am sent by Lord Hamunaptra." I said softly. "To deliver to you a message."
"Deliver away, child."
"Lady Heaven has disappeared." I said. "Her Alpha Angel, Charity, was attacked and raped this afternoon, and Lord Hell saved her. He won't give her back until Lady Heaven returns. Lord Hamunaptra has gone to have words with his his lordship."
I stood. "That is my message, and now I must deliver anew to Lady Val Halla."
I turned, and suddenly, there was a cane in front of me, keeping me from walking.
Tir Na Nog was behind me, holding his cane around me like a seatbelt or something, keeping me from leaving.
His lips were next to my ear.
"Did I give you permission to leave my presence?" He whispered, his quick tongue suddenly on my skin. "Or, for that matter, stand?"
My blood ran cold.
"Forgive my impetuousness, but I am late as it is, and Lord Hamunaptra is my true Lord and Master." I whispered, trying to get away from him. "Far be it from me to even conceive disobeying him."
"I think, perhaps, you had better worry about obeying those who you are near..."
I closed my eyes.
"What would you have of me, Lord Tir Na Nog?"
He brought the cane to my neck and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.
"MASTER." He corrected.
"What would you have of me, Master?" I whispered, still sort of choking.
He released the cane and whirled me around so that I was facing him.
He was a good two feet taller than me.
"A kiss." He said.
My eyes widened.
But it's not like I could argue him.
I sighed, and he leaned down and kissed me, gently, with his tongue.
The things I do for Hamunaptra.
Satisfied, he released me. "Next time I'll ask for more." He warned.
I nodded, bowed low, and ran out of his mansion.
It was on to Lady Val Halla.
Which is not much better, let me tell you.