CHAPTER 9 (From Apocalypse)
I suppose you're probably wondering exactly what Val Halla keeps as her Makers and personal assistants, aren't you?
She keeps Valkyries.
Yes, Valkyries.
I hate Valkyries, personally. Barbarians. Low lifes. Scum of the Maker world.
So to speak.
Which is why I was even more loathe to go into Val Halla's mansion than Tir Na Nog's. And you saw Tir Na Nog. He was pretty creepy.
I sighed and finally drew myself to knocking on the door.
There was a pause, and then one of the Valkyries opened it.
I smiled a little and looked up at him.
He was average Valkyrie size. Six foot three inches, about two hundred and twenty pounds. Very muscular. Not an ounce of fat on him. He had blonde hair hanging about cheekbone length. He wore silver armor.
This was Tamir.
"Apocalypse." He said, raising his eyebrows. "The girlie demon. What do you want?"
"I need to speak with Lady Val Halla." I said.
"She's busy." He said.
I sighed. "Master Hamunaptra sent me." I explained. "It's important. I have a message to deliver."
Tamir raised his eyebrows and his blue eyes sparkled.
He opened the door a little wider and ushered me in.
I sighed and crossed the threshhold, trying not to turn my back on him.
Valkyries took liberties. Trust me. They can't be trusted. I didn't want to turn my back on him whatsoever.
"This way." He said, leading me down a hallway trimmed with torches and erotic tapestries.
Finally, we came to a chamber.
"Sit." He said.
I sat on the couch and waited.
He smiled and leaned against the wall next to the door.
It slowly dawned on me that you could hear the sounds of a woman climaxing in the next room.
I knew that gasp anywhere.
Lady Val Halla.
She enjoyed clients a little too much sometimes. It was their choice, and they usually chose to engage in erotic liessans with her. Hamunaptra would never do that.
But she did.
Tamir was smiling.
I sighed.
It was a little uncomfortable sitting there, listening to Lady Val Halla indulge herself in the next room, having Tamir's eyes wander slowly up my body, lingering at the more meaty parts.
But I managed.
The things I do for Lord Hamunaptra.
Finally, the door opened and a rather flushed ghost wandered out.
Tamir nodded at him and entered the room.
After a moment, he stuck his head back out.
"Lady Val Halla will see you now." He said.
I nodded and stood.
As I passed him, he grabbed my ass.
I turned and would've slapped him, but he was over a foot taller than me and it just wasn't worth my stretching up.
I entered the room and Lady Val Halla was sitting on her desk, brushing her hair.
She was my height. About four foot ten inches tall, and built like me, except her breasts were bigger and she had more curvy hips. Val Halla was well known for her voluptuosity.
She had pale skin and hair the color of shining milk, drawn up tightly in a pony tail that still hung nearly to the floor, even though it was quite high indeed. She had wide ice colored eyes and full lips. She was quite attractive. Her taut body was covered in silver garments.
She smiled lazily as I entered.
"The female Demon." She said. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"To Lady Heaven's misfortune." I explained.
Her eyes darkened. "Come child, you know full well I harbor great distaste for unpleasent tidings..."
"Then I am loathe to say that I come baring such news." I said. "For Lady Heaven has disappeared."
Her eyes widened and she stood. "What?"
"Lady Heaven has disappeared." I explained. "We fear that she is not located at present times. And her Alpha Angel, Charity, was attacked and raped this afternoon."
"How AWFUL!" Val Halla said. "Simply dreadful. Speak up child, what else?"
"She was saved by his lordship Hell." I said.
Val Halla's eyes sparkled at the mention of his name.
It was my personal opinion that she harbored something of a crush for his lordship.
Different strokes, I guess.
"Lord Hell will not deliver Charity back unto the gates of Heaven's mansion until her ladyship has returned." I said. "So it is imperative that we locate her grace before long..."
Val Halla's eyes narrowed. "Lord Hell will not give her back..." She shook her head. "What is being done about the situation?"
"I know not." I said. "I was sent to convey news and nothing more."
She nodded. "Very well."
"I take my leave now." I said, bowing my head. "For I fear that it is quite late and I have not yet eaten a bit nor have I been to bed."
"Very well." She nodded, but her pleasent face was darkened by a cloud of discontent now. "I shall expect to hear at once upon Lady Heaven's location."
I nodded. "Of course."
With that, I turned to leave, and Tamir was waiting at the door.
He closed Val Halla's door and followed me to the front door.
He raised his hand as if he were going to grab something.
I turned and slapped his wrist away from me.
"I swear to god, if you lay one more of your dirty meathooks on me in any way shape or form, I'm going to cut your balls off and feed them to you."
He winked at me and opened the door for me.
I left the mansion feeling tired.
. It was finally time to return home.
But the entire journey, which should have been spent thinking about how nice bed and dinner would be, was darkened by the nagging fears about locating the ghost of Zappa Harrison.
Hamunaptra had seemed especially concerned about that.
And who could blame him?
Two lists. This had never happened before.
We needed to find him.
But what if we didn't? What would we do?
I sighed, and tried not to think about it.
But again it returned, time and time again.