"What do you mean you want a raise?" Seymour asked.
"Well, we DID walk for six hours in the snow," the now-thawed guard commented
"And so did I, but you don’t see me asking for more money," Seymour retorted.
"That would be because you have it already," another guard said.
"Sir, we have families," the third said.
"I don’t see why you reproducing has anything to do with me," Seymour said.
"I’m actually quite glad that it doesn’t, but—"
The guard was interrupted by a banging on the door, the type of banging made by someone who has nothing better to do than annoy others (actually they have several better things to do, they just aren’t willing to do anything else).
Seymour opened the door, shouted "We don’t want any!" and slammed the door closed without even taking note of whether there was someone in front of it or not.
The banging started again.
"Yes?" Seymour more demanded than asked, opening the door again.
"Hi," Tidus said, in a manner that showed he assumed he was important and he wasn’t leaving until someone said he was.
"Do you want something?" Seymour asked.
"Would I be here if I didn’t?" Tidus asked.
"Well, what is it?" Seymour asked.
"What is what?"
"What is it that you want, other than for me to hold the door open and let a pile of snow accumulate on an expensive rug?"
"But it looks like all the other rugs in Spira," Tidus said. "I’m here for money."
"Someone’s paying you to stand on the doorstep of Macalania temple and bug me?"
"No, I’m asking for money."
"No, that would require a statement with a question mark. Why exactly would you need money?"
"Well, you see—"
"Are you or your family starving?"
"Well, no."
"Do you have expensive medical bills to pay off?"
"No."
"Homeless?"
"No."
"Student loans?"
"Not really. None of us went to school."
"Well, then maybe you should so you can get a job of your own. What exactly do you need money for anyway? Everyone knows every monster caries at least enough for Chocobo fare."
"…We’re trying to get an ultimate weapon."
"Now, how does that interest me?"
"Why does that matter?"
"Why would I give money to someone? I’m not improving anyone’s welfare, I’m not helping a young adult learn enough to achieve a place in the business world and help the economy, all I’m doing is giving someone I don’t know something big and pointy? I’m a Maester, I’m supposed to be concerned with Spira’s future. I don’t think it’s a good future to waste money on pointy objects and give them to just anyone."
"You could just pretend to be concerned with Spira’s future, like the other Maesters," Tidus suggested.
"You’ve asked the other Maesters for money?" Seymour asked.
"Yep. Although they weren’t nearly as happy about it as you are. In fact one tried to eat me."
"Look, there are other things that you could do that would help people than waving dangerous objects at people, gaining levels, hurting other people," Seymour said, not really noticing the mess he’d made as the fourth wall crumbled al over the hallway. The guards got up to try and clean it up, but they found the more they handled it, the bigger the mess was and gave up.
"I never thought of that," Tidus said, but kept smiling. "Like what?"
"You could spread awareness that not all Al Behd are bad people. You could help rebuild places destroyed by Sin, or at least decorate them a bit. You could give your own money to those who need it more. People who are starving, or homeless. Hell, you could try and solve MY problem for once. If I keel over without a legitimate heir to the throne, there’s going to be a civil war in Guadosalam."
"I never thought of that," Tidus said. "You really think I could do all that?"
"With enough effort and good planning and support, of course," Seymour said. "But you’re not going to accomplish anything standing around here, now are you?"
"You mean, you, someone of great importance and rank and power and all that thinks some idiot who can barely tie his shoes right in the first try can do good in the world without hitting things on the head?"
"Look, I had to work to get what I have, and if I didn’t believe you could, I’d just tell you to shut up, go away, and vote for me."
"Okay," Tidus said, and started walking away.
Seymour closed the door in time to keep more of the falling fourth wall from landing on him.
Suddenly, Tidus paused on his way back to where he was going. "What’s vote?"