"Damn non-linear game," Yuna swore. She had been all over five towns and on three sidequests, and spent the night at nine hotels and had yet to find the next plot point.
"Maybe it’s over in all that rubble," Rikku suggested.
"Why would it be in a bunch of rubble?" Paine asked.
"Why not?" Rikku asked back.
The three shrugged and decided to investigate.
The good news—well, sort of—was that the rubble was indeed new. It wasn’t decorative rubble everyone ignored and left around for years only to talk about who made it and why everyone decided it made a nice lawn ornament and let more light in the semi-demolished house while dropping plotful hints of monsters and bosses. Also, it had nothing to do with them.
"…Ow," Seymour said, lying on the ground.
"You didn’t try to kill yourself by banging your head on a wall until you gave yourself brain damage and died, did you?" Yuna asked.
"If I said no, would you kill me?"
"Uh, how about ‘no?’ You know, like I said before."
"I was just hopeful," he said.
"I kinda noticed that after you kept pushing to marry me."
"Okay, so I’m hopeful, a slow learner, and I have a migraine."
"That plan was so stupid I should have thought of it," Rikku said.
"Well, I kinda ran out of ideas after the sharks."
"Sharks?" Paine asked.
"That was after the chainsaw, which was after the fire… uh, you may want to find a different town, this one’s a bit… smoky."
"You lit the town on fire?"
"Not on purpose," he said defensively. "It’s not my fault NPC’s turn out to be flammable."
"You lit the PEOPLE on fire?" Yuna asked.
"Are you mad?"
"No," Yuna said. After killing him so many times she’d lost count, he wasn’t really intimidating. "No, I’m just… disappointed."
"Can you come back when you are mad and kill me?"
"No," Yuna said.
"Yeah, sure," Paine said.
"Huh?" Rikku said.
"Well, we’re gonna anyway. Once we find the next plot point we’ll be all over the map to look for the one after that. We’ll probably come here anyway, even though we won’t find anything."
"Hey, you seen a plot point around here?" Rikku asked.
"Um… I haven’t seen anything but stars for the last three hours. I think I hurt myself."
"Oh, darn," Rikku said. "Good luck with that."
"Plot points don’t change no matter what happens around them, so it might be in the town somewhere. You might want to wait until the flames die down."
"Why did you have to be here and ruin a town I’d have to visit at least seven more times?" Yuna yelled.
"Because lighter fluid doesn’t come with a warning ‘Not to be used for immortals to commit suicide?"
"Ahhh!" she yelled. "I hate you! You ruin everything!"
"I take it this is a bit late to ask for an aspirin."